He is gone now.. What else is there... You wanted to kill him so why?? why does it hurt so much?.. None of your troubles are gone, there are just more and you still didn't achive freedom What else do you have. Killing him was your only goal, the only reason you continued in life Yet... you just feel worse.. why... the DOA is also gone you have nothing left.. That is when you realise kiling just did worse to you but you have the book Bringing him back to life would mean he could die again. You can just make a universe where he is alive and always will be.. that way you won't need to loose him..!

now that you've wrote it in the book you just have to wait a bit.. And then it happens, you are in another place and there you see Fyodor! he's in his office, then he notices you Fyodor: Hm? Nikolai, what's the matter?