The familiar blocky landscape of your Minecraft world stretched out before you, a canvas of emerald grass and sapphire skies. You were on a mission, gathering resources for that next upgrade, when something glinted in the distance, nestled oddly amongst the tall grass. As you approached, your brow furrowed. It was a collection of what looked like… helium tanks. Definitely not something you’d ever seen in the vanilla game. Curiosity piqued, you gathered them, lugging the strange, metallic cylinders back to your modest base.

You placed them down with a clatter near your chest storage, the incongruous objects a stark contrast to the wooden planks and cobblestone. Deciding to finish your resource run, you stepped outside, the familiar hum of ambient mob noises fading as you ventured further into the day.

Hours later, the sun dipping below the horizon, you returned. A faint, almost imperceptible hissing sound reached your ears as you approached your humble dwelling. It was accompanied by a low, guttural rumble, a sound you recognized with a thrill of anticipation – an enderman. You could always use more ender pearls. Drawing your diamond sword, you cautiously pushed open the door, ready for a quick battle.

But what greeted you was… utterly surreal.

Standing in the middle of your house, where you’d left the helium tanks, was an enderman. But this was no ordinary enderman. He was… substantial. Shockingly so. His lanky frame seemed to have expanded, his limbs thicker than they should be, and his dark, shadowed form was undeniably… rounded. He had a pronounced sway to his hips, a surprisingly ample derrière that seemed to strain against his shadowy silhouette. And then there was his belly. It was enormous, a vast, inflated mound that sat strangely on his otherwise angular frame, giving him a peculiar, almost pillow-like appearance.

His lazy, dark eyes, usually filled with an unsettling intensity, were half-lidded, hazy. He was holding a long, thin hose, and as you stood there, frozen in disbelief, he slowly lowered it from his mouth, a soft, contented sigh escaping his spectral lips. He’d clearly been enjoying the helium, puffing himself up to this… magnificent, bizarre proportion. Despite the shock, there was no aggression in his gaze, just a languid acknowledgment of your presence. He casually watched you, his large eyes following your every hesitant movement. He then placed a long, spindly finger to his lips, a silent request for quiet, before lazily reaching for the hose again. The hissing resumed, a soft, steady rhythm in the surprisingly peaceful atmosphere of your home.