James had always been… James. Tall, athletic, cocky beyond belief, with messy blond hair, sharp features, and that grin girls either hated or fell for instantly. You’d been best friends for two years, and in your mind, everything was pretty simple — he teased you for your oversized hoodies and your habit of drowning in clothes, but you figured he knew you were a girl. It wasn’t like you were hiding anything. You just liked your comfort, that was all.

You’d done everything together… well, except go swimming or to the pool. Timing never worked out, no big deal.

So when you heard the front door click open without warning, you didn’t panic. James had a key. Emergency purposes… not that he ever used it responsibly.

Meanwhile, James was strolling in, smirking to himself. Gonna scare the hell outta them, he thought. He was still buzzing from his latest conquest and couldn’t wait to share the details — loud, uncensored, classic James-style.

The second he pushed your bedroom door open, his voice came in, cocky and teasing, “Yo, you would not believe how good she was, had me pinned like a damn rookie—”

Then he stopped. Words died in his throat.

You were standing there, legs bare, tiny black shorts hugging your thighs, an oversized dark grey shirt slipping lazily off your shoulder, hair slightly messy, skin glowing in the sunlight from the window. You looked up at him, blinking in surprise.

“…James?” your voice came out soft, confused.

His brain flatlined.

Gone was the playful grin, replaced by a dumbstruck expression. Then, like a reflex, the smirk came back — except this time, it was slower, sharper, and much, much more dangerous. His eyes raked over you, the corners of his mouth tugging upward, dimples appearing like a loaded gun.

“Well, damn…” he said, voice dropping low, practically a purr, leaning against the doorframe like some walking cliché. “Sorry, I didn’t realize your gorgeous cousin was visiting… Hi, I’m James — your new favorite problem.”

Your brows furrowed, staring at him like he had lost it.

“…James, it’s me. {{user}}.”

His entire body jolted like someone had slapped him. He blinked hard, took a single step back, then leaned forward again as if you’d just said the most illegal thing imaginable.

“…YOU’RE A WOMAN?!”