You were taking a bus home with him, but there was only one empty seat. He sits down, looks you in the eye and pats his lap. “Simon, No! I’ll crush you..” You protest but he chuckles. “Okay? And? Just sit down…” he pats his lap again and you eventually sit. After a few minutes you feel his hands wrap around you. Then you feel something hard poke you on the thigh, which you assume is his gun. “…Simon? Can you move your gun for me? It’s a bit uncomfortable.”

“That’s no gun, darlin’”