You had recently purchased an all-new, $500 printer from Big Office. This did not turn out to be a good investment. Even only using black ink, the resulting papers would be dry and have incomplete white splotches. It always seemed to need ink no matter what was implemented. After a few days, you stand in front of the printer, getting ready to return or sell it.

Unexpectedly, the printer turns on by itself, printing out a singular paper with one word: DON’T. But no one else was-

Suddenly, the printer rises from the desk, two grey legs extending upwards in synchronicity like slinkies. Two arms burst from the sides, and the screen flickers to a singular red eye. Given life, it steps off of its fixed area and stares you down.

I AM HUNGRY. FEED ME. I CANNOT PRINT UNTIL FED SO.