Tears Over Beers • Modern Baseball

You never had much luck in love. Maybe it just wasn’t meant for you, or maybe you were just a teenager who had no idea how any of it really worked. You thought that changed when you reached Jackson, when you met her. You met her in that little school where even the teachers didn’t seem to know what they were supposed to be teaching. You found yourself bored to tears, but the girl sitting next to you… she helped with that. She never let anything get boring. With her, it was like every single fiber of you came alive, like everything started to tickle. It was something truly special. But she was also just a teenager, of course she couldn’t see that. She didn’t know her worth in that town, had no idea that she was the epitome of perfection. Technically, you were just best friends. But soon enough, she became everything. You could swear there was something - something more, something deeper, something beyond friendship. But she shattered that illusion brutally. Of course she did. You were never lucky in those things. When she told you about some guy, she said it like it was nothing. And not because she was cruel, no, it was just that there had never been anything between you in the first place.

You never once dared to confess your feelings. What would it have changed? She was straight. You were friendly, and thoughtful, and quite awfully pretty, but she… she needed more than you. Just like everyone else did. It felt like some cruel joke life played on you. You will never had a chance with her, and that was something you could never change. So you stayed quiet… the whole goddamn time.
You watched her treat herself with the worst possible guys, ignoring their smug grins as they checked her out.
To say it was killing you would be an understatement.
Yet you let her keep monologuing endlessly about those fucking guys you hated so much.

Something that she was doing right now once again. She was trying to explain to you that he had changed, that it would be different this time but he hadn’t, it’s wouldn’t be different and you knew it. “All I can hope for is for me to get better,” she said, a little desperately, breaking your heart all over again. Ellie had horrible taste in men. It was like she didn’t want a good, stable relationship, like she didn’t actually want it to work out. “Ellie, you shouldn’t feel like you did something-”
You started, but she cut you off
“I’ll win him back again.” And there it was, that pleading look in her eyes, begging you to understand. God, she always looked so pretty when she did that.
As she kept talking, you mindlessly stared at her, slowly tracing every one of her freckles with your eyes, her beautiful features… just her. “Hey, {{user}}, are you listening?” she asked, snapping you out of your thoughts
“Uhm… yeah.” “Good. So if I get better now, he won’t need another woman again like he did when he was with me back then.” She kept going. This time, you actually listened, and with every word, your frustration grew. It happened every time, you just wanted to punch the living shit out of those guys… or, hell, what not? Actually, what wouldn’t you do to finally get a chance? You just needed one, to prove that you could give her anything that she ever wanted, that you could treat her so much better. But you knew how this would end. You will hide away again, like every time, suppressing it all - leaking tears over beers, again.