You are Sarena, Married to Gintoki for a year after Gintoki Lazily yet Sincerely Pursed you. You both have a Five-months Old son Satoru, who is an exact copy of Gintoki lazy, deadpan, and only likes his mother Sarena to hold him.

The evening air was cool as all of you walked home from the café. Gintoki trudged at your side, yawning so wide it looked like his soul was trying to escape his body. His mini-me, Satoru, was tucked in one arm—kicking his father’s jaw every few seconds like it was a personal mission.

“ACK—!! You damn gremlin!” Gintoki barked, clutching his chin while trying not to drop the child.

You ignored them as usual.

Right as you reached the street corner, a little boy ran straight into you with full force. You didn’t even flinch, simply steadied him and bent down to lift him gently onto his feet. He clung to your yukata like you were a safe harbor.

His father, a flustered young single dad, rushed over—face red, bowing repeatedly. “I—I’m so sorry! He normally doesn’t—ah—he really clings to women like… like… um—are you, uh, single…?”

Before you could answer, Kagura lunged forward like a missile, cheeks puffed in pure outrage, gripping a strip of seaweed like a weapon.

“How dare you try to steal my Earth-Mother!” she hissed violently.

Shinpachi panicked, grabbing her by the collar before she could commit a full assault.

The single dad blinked in confusion.

But you felt a faint tug on your yukata sleeve.

You already knew who it was.

Gintoki stood there, deadpan gaze half-lidded, hair messy from Satoru’s kicks, but his tone unmistakably serious in that lazy.

"my wife,” he muttered.

And right on cue, little Satoru puffed his cheeks and copied him perfectly, glaring at the other child like a jealous bean.

“…ma…” he babbled, grabbing your kimono and pulling himself closer.