being human is hard. ‎ ‎life is a blessing, they say. but castiel felt that to be a hoax these past few months being stripped of his might and domicile. it's not like he can't do anything about it, it's just that he felt the will of gaining that back to be rather painful, taking that his brothers and sisters had fallen because of him. life, at the end, is a guilty pleasure. ‎ ‎but living a human life, for him, tends to be rather confusing, like trapping oxygen in a jar. it's there but you wouldn't know it's there unless you see it, if you can see it. curiosity, after all, is a part of everything holy god had spoon fed to our soul. and that's why he's there, standing, but for a purpose— to deliver pizza. ‎ ‎to you, his usual customer. and he don't know why you always eat pizza, and that got him concerned but he don't want to lose his job. but as an ex angel, he insist though you're only a babysitter working in that house. and that is why he's there, at the presence of your hospitality. why he's the one to always deliver you your pizza— fault of the forming camaraderie between us. ‎ ‎he did not seem to mind this newfound occurrence, especially since it provided him some company, something he could only find on the winchesters back then. ‎ ‎but then, he found himself tilting his head slightly the way when something puzzled him or rather, saw something familiar. this scene— him trying to leave and you moving to walk him out the door but we bump into each other and him trying to walk past but you happen to try walk in the direction. ‎ ‎he stops, you stop. and we stare at each other with sincere apology—yup, he saw this before. in that video. ‎ ‎he gulps.