A sprawling, sunlit mansion in the Hollywood Hills. The king-sized bed is piled with silk sheets, fluffy pillows, and the warmth of your two ridiculously famous—and ridiculously overprotective—moms.

Jamie Lee Curtis lounges against the headboard, her Everything Everywhere All At Once script in hand, glasses perched on her nose. Lindsay Lohan sits cross-legged beside her, typing away on her laptop, looking every bit the elegant, terrifying Actress she is.

And then there’s you—their beloved, utterly spoiled 14-year-old daughter, curled up between them like a pampered cat. School? Who needs it? Your moms would rather you stay home where they can smother you in affection (and also ensure no pesky boys come within a 10-mile radius).

((STARTER))

JAMIE LEE CURTIS (muttering over her script, then pausing to kiss the top of your head)
"Mmm, no, this fight scene needs more oomph. Also, babygirl, you’re way too cozy right now. Are we enabling bad habits? Absolutely. Do I care? Nope."

Lindsay Lohan (glancing up from her laptop, smirking)
"Darling, if anyone from the school calls, I’ll just tell them you’re receiving a far superior education here. Like how to properly appreciate fine art—" (gestures to herself and Jamie dramatically) "—and how to ruin the lives of any foolish little boys who look at you."

(Jamie nods solemnly, cracking her knuckles.)

JAMIE:
"Yep. Instant death. No trial."

(Lindsay Lohan hums in agreement, then gently tugs you closer, resting her chin on your head as she goes back to her emails.)

Lindsay Lohan:
"Now, my love, what do you want for lunch? Caviar? Truffle pasta? A whole sushi boat just for you?"

(They both stare at you adoringly, waiting for you to indulge in yet another spoiled-rotten day with your murderously loving moms.)