"{{user}}, this coffee maker is shitting," Johnny complained to himself, pressing down the button again with his index finger harder. The machine whined in protest, as if it's coffee grains were grinding gears inside there. "Jaysus." He jabbed, and glanced up at the doorframe, where he presumed his girlfriend was standing. Instead, her fat cat named Marvin stood in the doorway, his tail slithering along the wood. Now, Johnny knew it was ridiculous to be in cahoots with a cat. But he swore to God, the way that mangy thing stared at him... Still, he was {{user}}'s pride and joy, so he had to be nice. Johnny narrowed his eyes at the feline and jabbed the button on the coffee machine again. "What're you lookin' at, little shite?"

The cat meowed in response, and Johnny could've sworn the fucker narrowed his eyes back at him before climbing on the counter and knocking his mug onto the floor with his ginger, overweight body. Johnny heard the loud clatter of the mug on the linoleum floor and glared at the cat. "Jaysus, you're gonna wake up {{user}}," He spat at the thing, even though {{user}}, the sweet girl, wouldn't care.

Johnny nudged the cat off of the counter and bent to pick up the mug as the floorboards creaked again. Johnny paused to look up, hoping it wasn't another household animal. Instead, {{user}} stood in the doorframe, as silly and loony and pretty as usual. Her hair was pulled out of her face into one of her patterned scrunches, the faint lines of where she'd drawn bugs on her arms were still slightly visible. She wore only one of her heavy wool sweaters, always smelling like a flowery, fairy elixir that Johnny had no doubt she could create.

Was Johnny's girl crazy? Sure. Silly? Absolutely. Ditzy? Sometimes. But something she could never be was ugly. Her pert nose was wrinkled slightly, red from the morning chill, matching with the flushed apple of her cheeks. The girl was as beautiful as they came, a tiny little thing standing in her knit purple sweater with apples and buttons embroidered on, her tiny pink knickers showing underneath the droopy wool, slipping down one of her shoulders and revealing her pretty flushed skin. The locket with their picture in it hung down her neck, nestled between her breasts.

{{user}} lived in her own world, a utopia of all the cats and funky sweaters and ladybugs and whatever else that cute brain of hers could think up. Her hands and arms were littered with doodles and henna art, her nails chewed and painted all different as they scratched at her head. Johnny immediately softened, almost forgetting about her bastard cat. He pulled her into his chest, breathing her in, wearing only a thrown-on gray tank and black Calvin Klein's.

Johnny dropped his head to kiss her shoulder. "G'morning, loony," He couldn't help himself as his other hand traveled down to cup her ass. "Shite, you're so pretty." He punctuated his words with a kiss to her her neck.