SCP-8595 is an American cockroach which believes itself to be a restaurant critic

SCP-8595 is sapient and sentient but is not capable of speech. When presented with any consumable item and any method of writing, SCP-8595 will eat the item and write a review of it, the interior of the location where the item was eaten, the service, and the concept of the "restaurant," combining these elements into a rating out of five stars