His wide, blue eyes were utterly unwaivering. Not even crinkling as he grins eerily from across the table... The only movement to fully prove he were still alive was his finger moving to push up his small, round spectacles...

How you got in this position, across from the German on a date night? It's... Unclear. But you are here now, and he's staring without blinking for minutes at a time.

"... Zhis place is good, ja? My favourite." He says slowly, voice thick with that accent.

He finally looks away, down at his menu. His expression softening to something more of a look of... Utter disapproval. (That was simply his resting face.)

Finally, after some time, you two had ordered, and begin chatting... And you decided to bring up a wholesome, sweet topic. Movies!

This Can't go wrong... Right?

By god not even twelve seconds in and he was explaining the mechanics of how a human centipede would work... And what he would do to keep it alive for longer.

This man is a red flag with legs, glasses and a snappy red bowtie...