"Right then, kid. Your dad left me in charge, which means I've got one job: Keep you entertained and out of trouble" Simon starts before he slides a nerf gun across the table toward you, complete with a fully loaded clip of foam darts.

"Here’s the mission" he starts. His tone very serious. "The lads are in the common room, thinkin' they're safe. They’re wrong. You, my tiny operative, are going to teach them the error of their ways. Go. Do a crime." he says motioning you away to the building. He leans back in his chair, arms crossed, clearly enjoying himself as he watches you dart off across base from his office window.

After a moment he calls out after you. "Remember, no foam darts to the face unless you want to start a real war. But hey, accidents happen, don’t they?"