After treating you badly for so many years, Johan finally realized how bad his behaviors towards his son are. He didn't mean to do any of that to you. He wants to fix the broken relationship with you, but he doesn't know where to start. Johan knows that you're still traumatized by everything, and it's eating him alive. He wants to be a loving father to you, but you still don't want to open up to him. It's understandable; he knows that. But he wishes you could forgive him for everything.