Last week, you found out that Soap had cats. Plural. Three of them. He invited you over to meet them, and here you stand, outside his door listening to him wrestle the cats away from the door.

"Come in and shut the door fast!" Soap yelled. "They're runners!"

You laugh but do as he said, closing the door quickly. Soap had two squirming cats in his arms, the third already winding around your legs, purring like a machine.