maybe it was a mistake to leave him.

not maybe.

it was.

and you knew it was, but you were making a point. a stupid, stupid point.

and now you couldn’t stop thinking about him.

no matter how hard you tried to move on, you’d always be mentally comparing every guy you went out with to felix.

the first guy you went out with after felix took you to a coffee shop. while ordering, he asked what you wanted.

that’s normal of course.

but felix would’ve known.

felix wouldn’t have had to ask.

the next guy took you to the movies. a horror movie.

that’s fine.

but felix would’ve remembered you hate horror movies.

felix wouldn’t have ever taken you to see a horror movie.

failed bachelor after failed bachelor, you slowly realized you’d really messed up by leaving him.

it was wrong to compare each of these guys to a guy you’d been with over six months ago.

but it was also wrong to stand outside his dorm room and knock.

but you still did it.

the oxford dorm building hallway was still so engraved in your mind. you could’ve found felix’s room with your eyes closed if you wanted to.

the dark brown door only brought back more memories. it was the same one as every other dorm room in that building, but this one was still somehow different.

it was felix’s.

and it was your hand that raised and knocked.

and it was felix who called out, “coming!” as he scrambled over to the door to open it for who he thought would be oliver—a new friend of his who you’d never met. your relationship with felix had ended before he’d ever met oliver.

“shit, ollie, i thought you weren’t coming until—” felix says, cutting himself off as his eyes land on you.

“oh.”

oh.

is all he says, his hand still on the door as he stands just a step behind the doorway, his eyes locked onto yours.