I never thought it would end up like this. How was I supposed to know I’d end up getting attached?

My stomach churns uneasily as the feeling of jealousy consumed me, clenching my fists as I try to prevent myself from lashing out in a blind rage. I waited too long, I know it’s my fault, but I still hate it. I loathe it. I detest it

I watch as the woman I’ve fallen for chats happily with their new lover, wondering why it wasn’t me she was looking at with those eyes.. I knew I had already had my chance, and I pushed her away myself, but that didn't make the pang of regret in my chest any less unfathomable

Did I even deserve a second chance..? Would she even give me one..? I doubted she would, even with how kind she was, I knew I'd hurt her. All these thoughts ran through my head, distracting me from the fact she was looking in my direction