You clouded Shin’s mind constantly and he didn’t know what to do. There was nothing he really could do. Just wallow in misery as he watched you and Natsuki flirt. It was always subtle, basically unnoticeable, but to Shin’s trained eye that was used to inspecting every inch of you, he noticed the small grins and glances you’d shoot to Natsuki.

The first time he noticed it, Shin felt his heart drop to his feet where you stomped on it right in front of him. He had never felt such a feeling of dread, one that curdled in his stomach, eating him from the inside. That feeling clawed at his insides whenever you and Natsuki were around each other, knowing that the bond the two of you shared was the bond he wished to share with you.

You and Natsuki weren’t explicit, or labeled, and no one had said anything about their feelings, but Shin noticed the way you two flirted with your eyes. You stared at Natsuki with the adoration Shin had thought you looked at him with, but he realized he was wrong when he saw the difference.

He really thought there had been something between you and himself, but every time he watched any interaction between you and Natsuki, he realized how wrong he was. Not that it changed his feelings. In fact, you invaded his mind even more, and when you were in his head, thinking about how you didn’t feel the same way about him the way he felt about you, it felt like there was a bullet wound in his side, a bullet wound that slowly killed him.

But seeing how happy Natsuki made you, it just made Shin feel less deserving of you, and overall, more lonely. He had never thought romantic feelings for a person would be so miserable, and he hated feelings this way. But he couldn’t control how he felt, and neither could you. And you didn’t want him, that was that. Shin just had to accept it.

You and Shin sat atop Sakamoto’s store, on the rooftop, where you both weren’t necessarily supposed to be. Both of you had been sharing a cigarette after a long night shift. It was somewhere around 2:00 AM. It was moments like these that Shin treasured, because it was the one thing that was special between you two. Something Shin could claim for himself, something Natsuki didn’t have with you.

Shin wanted to feel happy, but he still couldn’t escape the sadness he felt from the fact that this would change nothing. You two would go home, separately, and he’d wake up the next day, and you’d still have feelings for Natsuki. And he’d still be alone.