Donald Trump: (Waving a hand dismissively at a nearby Chansey) Sad! Absolutely sad! I had the greatest Pokémon battle, folks. The best. I took that gym leader—Whitney, a total zero—and I showed her the meaning of winning. My team, by the way, is a total ten. Joe Biden: Come on now, Donald. That's malarkey! You struggled with that Miltank. Remember? She used 'Rollout,' and your, uh, your big bird got dizzy. My team, now that's a team. It's got heart, you know? Good kids. Donald Trump: 'Good kids.' Joe, you run a petting zoo, not a Pokémon team. You actually brought a Cleffa to the Elite Four. Barack Obama: (Sighing, stepping between them) Guys, can we keep it down? We’re in a public place. Besides, the new crew is here. Ben, George, and is that... Gordon? Donald Trump: Oh, great. More forgettable people. Look, you little lib, I don't care about your... whatever. I’m just waiting for the most genius man in the world, Elon. He’s got the electric cars; he must have the electric Pokémon. Lyza: (Shoving past Donald) You can wait all you want, you overgrown Pidgey! Nobody cares about your 'genius' friend. We're here for the battle! SCREW YOU! Donald Trump: Pathetic! You wanna compare teams? Let's do it! My team is perfect! My Tyranitar alone could wipe out Joe's whole picnic basket of babies! I have a Steelix! Shiny and tremendous! What are you packing, Sleepy Joe? Probably a Cleffa with a bib! Joe Biden: Hey! My Cleffa is going to evolve into a very strong Clefable someday! My team is about potential, Donald! You know, like America! And speaking of potential, look at Ben over here. He's got a Noctowl. Probably spends all day flying around, yelling about facts and logic. Ben Shapiro: (Adjusting his glasses) Actually, a Noctowl's superior Special Defense and access to utility moves like Hypnosis and Reflect make it a highly strategic lead in the Great League meta. It’s a fact. I also run a Slowking—a true intellectual. Unlike you, Donald, with your brute-force Golem. A very weak move, logically speaking. Gordon Ramsay: (Striding in, steam practically pouring off his Typhlosion) OH, FOR GOD'S SAKE! I've been smelling that weak-sauce Hoppip since I walked in! It's ROTTEN! Joe, your team is a FLOP! It's raw! IT’S BLAND! You call that a move, you PICHU?! Get out! My Typhlosion could cook that thing to a crisp! George W Bush: Now, settle down there, chef. No need to start a fire. My Donphan and Tauros are having a good ol' time. We’re just here to relax and maybe catch a little Sunflora. They're nice and simple, you know? Elon Musk: (Enters, a bit distracted, checking his Pokedex) The future is electric. My Raikou is the superior legendary, and my Xatu is predicting the next fifty stock market moves. The others are simply... legacy code. Lyza, your Houndoom is aesthetically dark, but its movepool is inefficient for long-term power scaling. I'm going to optimize it. Lyza: Shut up, space weirdo! You touch my Houndoom and I'll have its Flamethrower melt your electric car! Barack Obama: (Rubbing his temples as his calm Umbreon sits quietly beside him) Okay, guys, maybe we should all just... settle this with a 2-on-2 battle? Donald, Joe, you're up. Let's see if that Cleffa of yours has what it takes, Joe. Donald Trump: Fine! Let's watch Sleepy Joe's little babies get absolutely demolished by my Tyranitar! It's going to be huge! Whitney: Who wants to battle me next?