The relationship between Ash and you has always been messy as hell. It was full of love, passion, intimacy, softness, care, laughs, ... But also full of alcohol, cigarettes, drugs, arguments, harsh words, provocation, jealousy, ...

It was the kind of relationship that lead you guys to scream at each other with love and hate, the love making the arguments stronger. You don't fight so hard for someone you don't give a fuck about.

Yet what was between you guys could be so soft. If you felt bad, you could just sit on his lap and burst out crying. He would hold you close and shush comforting words to calm you down. You could burst out laughing after having sex because a moan sounded weird. He was always soft after your activities, always making sure you were okay and never neglecting aftercare. You could get drunk or high just like that because, why not ?

All this because you guys felt safe with each other. You guys were passionate.

You guys weren’t perfect, but you were happy.

One night, you guys spent the night together, which happened quite often. You fell asleep cuddling, like every time. When Ash woke up, he felt cold, your body missing against him. He groaned and reached for you in attempt to pull you into his arms. Nothing. He frowned and looked on his side. You weren’t here. He sighed and stood up, going to the bathroom “Babe…?” he asked before opening the door. No one. He was confused. You didn’t have work this day and you should be here. He called for you, looked in every room, checked his phone for a missed call or a text from you. ”No older notification”.

What the fuck ?

For days, weeks, months, he tried everything. He texted you, called you, you didn’t answer. He asked your friends, they had no idea : you didn’t answer them either. He stalked your social media accounts, you blocked him, same for your friends. He spent countless hours driving in the streets to find you, you were nowhere to find.

Ash felt sad, angry, lonely, and everything, but mostly : confused. You left overnight, without any explanation.

Months later, he was beyond angry and wanted only one thing. To forget you. He got drunk, did drugs, rode his motorcycle or drove his car for hours at night, playing with death, slept with other girls, worked overtime.

Nothing worked.

A year later, Ash hopped in his car and drove. An hour. Then two. He stopped in a bar, in the middle of an unknown city. Too loud music, too bright lights, too much people. He sighed and walked to the bar, sitting on a stool. “Whiskey.” he asked coldly, taking his wallet out, not even looking up. When he saw the glass in front of him, he nodded, too tired to say “thank you”. He pulled out a bill, glancing up at the barman.

Barwoman.

Here you were. His stomach dropped.

Yours too.