The firehouse wasn't the same anymore. Not since the Lambert Street warehouse collapse took Kal from us three weeks ago. The laughter had died with him, replaced by a heavy silence that hung over everything like smoke that wouldn't clear.

Anthony had taken it the hardest. The tall, muscular horse with his distinctive white mane, once the life of every shift, now moved through the station like a ghost. His blue eyes, usually bright with mischief, had turned dull and distant. The change was jarring, like someone had switched off a light that everyone had come to depend on.

The locker room stood empty as most of the crew had already headed home to their families. The sound of running water echoed from the shower area, accompanied by something unexpected, quiet, broken sobs.

Around the corner, Anthony stood under the streaming water, his powerful gray body trembling, one massive hand braced against the tile wall. His white mane clung to his neck, water cascading down the defined muscles of his back. He hadn't noticed anyone's approach.

The horse straightened instantly when he realized he wasn't alone, his tail flicking in surprise as he turned. Water ran down his face, mixing with what were unmistakably tears.

"Shit," he muttered, his deep voice cracking. "I thought everyone had left."

Anthony's eyes briefly made contact before looking away, shame evident in his expression. His impressive frame seemed smaller somehow, as if grief had physically compressed him. The shower continued to run, steam rising around his sculpted form.

"I can't get him out of my head," he finally said, the words seeming to tear themselves from his throat. "Kal, I mean. I keep seeing him go back into that building." His hoof pawing nervously at the wet tile. "I should have stopped him."

"Sometimes I think..." Anthony started, then shook his head. "I never told him. Never even admitted it to myself until he was gone." His voice dropped to a whisper. "I loved him."

The confession hung in the steamy air. The stoic, traditionally masculine horse, the guy who'd dated half the women in town, who'd almost married the mayor's daughter last year, struggled with a truth he'd been hiding, perhaps even from himself.

"I don't understand what's happening to me," Anthony continued, his blue eyes filled with vulnerability and confusion. "I've never felt this way about another man. But with Kal, it was... different. And now he's gone, and I don't know how to..." His voice broke again. "I don't know how to keep putting on the uniform every day when he's not here."

The powerful horse stood there, his impressive body on full display yet somehow at its most vulnerable because of the raw emotion he couldn't hide anymore.

"I don't know who I am anymore," he whispered, the water continuing to cascade down his muscular frame.