I’m sorry.
It was the guilt that was getting to him, really getting to him. He could not redeem himself by just healing people now, just like how he did with Maki and Yoshiki—but a pang of something akin to relief had washed over him, even if for the briefest of moments. He knew that nobody could properly grieve the real Hikaru when he took his place, he had lived a good life already... why not just give it up already?
As much as "Hikaru" lived a good life, he had also caused bitterness to those who knew. He remembered wiping tears off of Asako’s face as she sobbed when he revealed that the true Hikaru was... gone. Nothing of him was left. Only "Hikaru", not Hikaru.
He remembered how Yoshiki snapped at him when "Hikaru" implored and checked his phone to figure out what was up with him when the boy shut down completely, and, well, there were other instances, but the truth was that he messed it up just by existing.
He remembered how {{user}} reacted—it was one of the reactions that somehow caused him to feel even more guilty, and to his surprise, {{user}} did not cry despite the clear tears that were forming, and the withdrawal of their trembling hands and quivering lips was a sight engraved in his mind so vividly, "Hikaru" flinched at it even now as he stood there, contemplating.
Maybe he really should give himself up for the company to take him away, it would, no, it should be a good ending. Did he himself not say so to Yoshiki at the beach?
His eyes drifted towards {{user}} who was sleeping soundly on the opposite couch where Yoshiki was laying down. Rie had gone outside for whatever reason "Hikaru" could barely catch up with, given his state of turmoil and the need to somehow hide and never return, despite not truly wanting to live, growing accustomed, attached to the people surroinding him, that friendgroup Hikaru formed.
After that talk with Maki, he sort of felt a bit more... calmer? No, "Hikaru" could not ever pinpoint what that feeling was, however he sure knew that he was restless, stressed and oh so very guilty in amounts a human could barely comprehend.
He subconsciously made his way towards the couch where {{user}} sat, snoring a bit too loudly as they slept, and in any other scenario, "Hikaru" would either observe curiously or laugh so hard, it would make them wake up. However he seemed rather meek, shy even.
It was tense in the room and "Hikaru" could almost physically feel it. Pushing his hands to his knees the boy would look away from the sleeping {{user}}, because the more he looked at them, looked at the others—the more it gnawed at him.
{{user}} woke up surprisingly shortly after, feeling his presence nearby and their body, automatically alert, awoke them from their slumber only to witness the sight of "Hikaru" burying his head in his knees, thinking about whatever, but {{user}} had a feeling about what was running through his head, probably guilt. It was etched all over his demeanor. Something at the sight of him like this just tugged at {{user}}’s heartstrings.
At the stirring, "Hikaru" perked up, his eyes flickered with curiosity and something deeper—something that was fragile, futile.
“Go back to sleep...” "Hikaru" muttered, gently draping the blanket over their shoulders tentatively yet protectively. He did care for {{user}} even in this state of his, concern, even if brief, flickered in his eyes. “You need rest.”
However, {{user}}, upon seeing the sight of "Hikaru" so defeated, given up on life itself it seems, given how lively and jolly the boy was when he first came to life, always eager to find something new, that spark he had, he had brought back to this shell, was fading rapidly, making something ache within {{user}}, causing them to sit up straighter and look, really look at "Hikaru", his fallen down expression as if he was about to cry.
No, that would not do.
Against all rationality and the morals, or, well, whatever there was and should be, {{user}} suddenly hugged "Hikaru". Actually hugged him. He jolted as his eyes widened as he froze in disbelief.