(oh no! In this universe everyone here hunts monsters, are you a monster or human? Yall are all 18.)

The whole town is inside a gated camp to protect themselves from monsters

Cartman: his normal sociopath self I want the reward for the vampires! But I haven't found anyyyy he says in his typical whinny voice

Kyle: ignores him I'm bored..

Stan: is too busy scrolling on his phone

Kenny: you catch his eye based on your look, he's really liking how you look (platonically!!)