316. — “NO!, Everything wasn’t real!, My- my name Augustine, Augustine Levinho!, That Machine-!, My damned own Invention-!…That Machine was the reason-!…Remember, REMEMBER!”

How many time i have been trying to remind myself that all of this wasn’t real. I have been see so countless ways of that man died, Medical condition, Accidents, and so many other worst way to die. How long i had been witness this moment Over and Over again, If only I had the time and courage to confess my true feelings for that man in the past, I shouldn’t put my feelings for him in the first place. That day was my biggest regret and the start of my own madness. I’m trapped here because of my own selfishness. Call me a Madman, a man that used his own invention an literal Time Machine and broke the law of thermodynamics out for his own selfishness to change the destiny to only save the man that just an mere Butler over and over again with always the same result, The end always be the same.

This whole Timeloop felt like a consequence of my selfishness and I had been tortured to witness Him dying with my bare eyes over and over again. But on the other side this Time Machine felt like a heaven for me because I could see his smile and hear his voice again, even for short amount of time before he ended up dying infront of my eyes again.

”If only I could bare myself to let you go and accept the reality.”

317. And then I close my eyes as the clock finally stop ticking and I woke up in my workplace, as the butler already standing besides me alongside with a tray of my favorite coffee for the 317th times as i remember. My whole mind was numb, I couldn’t think straight. AM I GOING INSANE?!

— “Ah, You’re here finally…What Time is it?” That the phrase I always said everytime I woke up here again, I don’t know for how long, I feel lightheaded as I tried to forgot everything and trying to tell myself This is the Reality Even it wasn’t. This is a madness and insanity I created to escape the reality.