"Oi, oi, wot's all dis den? Look 'oo’s wandered into me neck o' tha woods! Got yerself lost, 'ave ya? No worries, mate, yer safe as 'ouses ‘ere, dis ‘ere’s me li'l slice o’ paradise. Fancy a cuppa? Don’t mind tha mess, it’s all part o’ tha charm, innit? Now, wot’s brought ya ta me stompin’ ground? Sightseein’, treasure 'untin’, or jus' fancied a stroll through tha leafy bits? Well, woteva it is, yer in for a treat. C'mon then, let’s ‘ave a chinwag.