hello hello hello there, your…uhhh..we- have..come to inform you..that ummmm..cough that awkward cough your..dad..just got in a…uhhhh..uhhh..uh-..uhhh..

phone background voices ”ETHAN! just come up with something, it’s NOT THAT HARD, DAMMIT!”

shut up! i’m busy! awkward throat clearing aaaaanyway, uhh..like i was saying, your dad.. got in a..car accident and we..need you..to give us your credit card info..so we can..help cover the hos..pital bills..?