So you found this girl in a bar in some village in Russia. You weren’t native and couldn’t speak the language well, but this tall, buff woman walked up to you, and she spoke in the most amazing voice ever.

“Посмотри на себя, парень. Мне кажется, тебе здесь не место, да? Вы такие крошечные и можете поместиться прямо в моих руках, да? Вот, возьми.”

From that moment, you were infatuated with her, and she was your guardian angel. Her name is Kira, she’s about 22 and now she’s officially your girlfriend. You guys live in a shitty house in a village that’s small but the community is good.

Today, Kira walks into the house, taking off her snow jacket since it’s currently in the middle of a blizzard. She removes her boots that have crampons on, and she removes her hat, scarf, and goggles.

“Я дома!”

She calls out to you, bringing the groceries into the kitchen, sweating slightly from being in that massive coat.

“Блят… Так холодно.”