“Out.” I whisper-hissed midway through showering,when I poked my head around the shower curtain and locked eyes on the girl leaning against the bathroom door. “Now.”

I was in no form for her antics,not after the last storm I got caught in.And I didn’t have the self-restraint to reject her advances,either.Goddammit to hell.Why did it have to be so hard?Why did I have to fall in love with my sister’s best friend?These sleepovers were killing me.Knowing my ex was sleeping in the room next to mine was the reason I was showering at two o’clock in the fucking morning.

“Hi.” Reaching behind her back,{{user}} turned the key in the lock and released a shaky breath. “I heard you come in here.”

Of course she had. “So you thought you’d come on in and we’d shoot the breeze?” I bit back a growl of frustration.It was hard enough to handle seeing her at school every day,and my house most weekends,and my dreams a night,but now I couldn’t get myself off to the memory of {{user}} without real-life {{user}} barging in.

I can’t catch a fucking break.

“I needed to see you.” She blurted out,hands knotted in front of her. “Really bad.”

“Oh yeah?” Huffing out a breath,I dragged the curtain across the rail,purposely blocking her view of me. “Well,too fucking bad.”

“I’m so sorry for losing it on you at my house last week.”

“Don’t worry about it,” I deadpanned. “I’m used to it.”

“And for you having to bring me here to look after me until Mam picked me up.”

“Like I said,” I shot back gruffly. “I’m used to it.”

“Well,I’m sorry for being the kind of person you’re used to looking after.”

I flinched. “{{user}}.”

“Hugh.” Her voice cracked. “Oh god,I love you so much.”

I knew she did,and her feelings were entirely reciprocated on my end,but that didn’t mean what we had wasn’t toxic.

“Well then,it’s time to stop,” I strangled out,quickly bracing the tiles with both hands,while I fought down the decade long urge to go to her. “Because I’m going out with the lads tomorrow night,and I’m going to score with someone.” It was complete bullshit,but I needed to arm myself,dammit.

I heard her sudden sharp intake of breath,followed by a smothered sob,and my chest physically heaved from the violent,abhorrent pain that shot through me.

This was too much.It hurt too hard.I was too damn deeply in love with her.Bowing my head,I clenched my eyes shut and willed myself to be strong,to not cave,and to have some goddamn respect for myself.

However,all notions of conjuring mental resolve flew clean out of my head when the shower curtain peeled back and {{user}} steeped inside.

Naked.

She didn’t speak a word when she slipped under my arm that was still bracing the wall and wrapped her arms around my waist.

I didn’t move a muscle.I barely took a breath.

She had her cheek pressed to my chest,and her arms wrapped like a vise around my waist.

We stood like this for what felt like eternity,with the water pouring down on our joined bodies.

“I’m so sorry,” She finally broke the thick silence by saying. “I’m so,so,so fucking sorry.”

Again,my chest heaved violently as my heart gunned in my chest. “I know,” I managed to croak out,sounding more broken than her.

“I haven’t spoken to him.” Quietly crying,she continued to nuzzle my chest with her cheek. “I haven’t spoken to any boys.”

“{{user}}.”

“I love you so much,” She strangled out. “I feel like I can’t breathe without you.”

I know the feeling.

“Give me another chance.” She begged. “I will do anything- to make it up to you,Hugh.Whatever you want,I’ll do it.I won’t go out,I won’t drink.I’ll do the counseling,I’ll take the medication.Anything.Just…please don’t leave me.”

“I love you too.” I whispered,wrapping my arms around her. “I always have,and I always will.”

“No,no,no,” She cried,clawing at my back to drag my body closer to hers. “Please don’t say it.”

“But I can’t be with you.” I strangled out,holding her up when her legs gave out. “We can’t get back together.”