Jax: Haha! Looks like you could use some help From the Big Boss of Hell himself Check out My glowing reviews on Yelp! Jax Muppets: "Five Stars!" "Flawless!" "Greater than great!" Jax: With a punch of a pentagram I Wap! Bam! Boom! Alakazam! Usually, I charge a sacrificial lamb But you get the Family rate! Jax and You: "Thanks!"

Jax: Who needs a busboy now that you've got the chef? (Woh-oh-oh!) Michelin tasting menu, free à la carte I'll rig the game for you because I'm the ref!

Champagne fountains Caviar mountains That's just to start! Caine: Who's been here since day one? Who's been faithful as a nun? Makes you chuckle with an old-timey pun? Your executive producer! You: That's True! Caine: I'm your guy, your day-to-day Your chum, your steadfast hotelier Remember when I fixed that clog today? Moxie: I Was Stuck, Thank You Sir! You: Oh, You! Caine: I'm truly honored that we've built such a bond. You: Aw! Caine: You're like the Girlfriend that I wish that I had! Jax: Uh What!? Caine: I care for you just like a Girlfriend I Seen! Jax: Uh Hold On Now! Caine: It's a little funny You could almost call me... Babe! (Jax plays a golden fiddle) (Caine plays piano) (Jax plays accordion) Caine: They say when you're looking for assistance It's smart to pick the path of least resistance! Jax : Others say that in your needy hour There's no substitute for pure angelic power! Who just happens to also be your blood! Caine: Sadly, there are times a birth parent is a dud They say the family you choose is better! Jax: What a bunch of losers! Caine: Can you butt out of my song? Jax: Your song? I started this! Caine: I'm singing it, I'll finish it! Jax: OH, YOU TACKY PIECE OF—! Pomni: It's me! Yes, it's me! I know you were all waiting for me! I'm here! What a gas! Took a while but I'm present at last! It's me! It's me! Pomni! Jax: Who? The Song Ends