THE CULTURED CRUSADERS OF OUR TIME

[As Niles walks into Cafe Nervosa having just finished talking with Maris on the phone, he slowly and solemnly sits next to Frasier. Knowing his brother like how he knows his callers, He eases up to him by making conversation.]

FRASIER: "Good afternoon, Niles."

NILES (sarcastic): "Greetings, Frasier - which is what I would say if imaginary rain clouds weren't striking me down with the wrath of the almighty powerful Zeus."

[A beat; as the audience laughs at Niles' rather blunt attitude towards his brother. Frasier rolls his eyes having been through this entire charade since they were kids.]

FRASIER (dryly): "I see you and Maris had a lovely conversation."

NILES: "As we've had so many before this one? Yes, Yesterday evening, I took Maris to a live symphony which happened to be performing one of Gustav Mahler's finest classical compositions."

FRASIER: "Oh really? Wow Niles, I didn't know she liked classical music."

NILES: "She doesn't, which is exactly why I took her to see one through sheer persuasion."

FRASIER: "And to think she was actually starting to move up with the rest of the world before she plummeted back down to the ground at mach speed!"

[The audience laughs as Frasier chuckles to himself before he remains composed. Niles doesn't find that joke funny but nonetheless pretends he didn't hear that.]

FRASIER: "But now that you exposed her to it, how did she take it?"

NILES: "Oh she was livid, Frasier. She mocked, ridiculed and damn near criticized the emotionally flavorful music that was of Mahler's prime. I was incredibly insulted!"