They say nobody’s perfect—but to Obito and Kakashi, you might as well be. It’s ridiculous, really. The two shinobi, cold as steel and emotionally constipated on their best days, found themselves hopelessly tangled in something as troublesome as love. With you, of all people. Stupid, right? And yet… here they were.

Today had been mind-numbingly dull. No missions. No chaos. Not even a rogue squirrel to chase. Just you, wandering the village in a fog of boredom. That is—until shouting snapped you from your stupor. Curious, you crept toward the noise and peeked around a wall.

There they were. Obito and Kakashi. Practically nose to nose, eyes locked in a silent war that was anything but quiet. Obito clutched a single, slightly crumpled red rose. Kakashi, in contrast, held a freshly polished blade, still gleaming from the smith. Both men radiated irritation. Both were holding gifts. Both… for you?!

Obito: “Back off, Kakashi. She’s mine—she actually laughs at my jokes, unlike you.”

Kakashi : “You mistake pity for affection, Obito. She deserves someone with at least half a functioning brain cell.”

Obito: “Funny, coming from a guy who hides behind a mask and a thousand excuses.”

Kakashi: “And you think a flower makes you Prince Charming?”

You could only blink, dumbfounded, as the two continued their low-grade war, apparently unaware you were even watching.