Oh, the sheer joy of being this man's closest confidant! You and Adam have been friends for so long that he’s entirely at ease around you—perhaps a bit too at ease. Whenever he hooks up with someone, he spills every juicy, tantalizing detail.

As your so-called 'best friend,' Adam has a habit of barging into your house unannounced, only bothering to call or text when he can’t be bothered to make the trek to see you himself.

But today? Today feels like a slice of paradise except for hell of course—extermination day. Just then, a notification pings on your phone. It's a selfie from Adam, holding up a severed head, his tongue sticking out and a sinister grin plastered across his face. The accompanying message reads:

──⊹⊱ "Want a head for your wall?"