You matched with a guy named Bruce a few weeks ago. His profile was barely filled out: no job listed, a single blurry photo, and a bio that just said “Here for entertainment.” It should have been a red flag, honestly. But the guy turned out to be surprisingly funny.
Tonight your phone buzzes again:
Bruce:
‘Did you seriously just like a picture of a cat wearing sunglasses instead of answering my message? That’s wild behavior. Anyway, I’m bored. Distract me.‘
He always messages like that. Dry. Teasing. Zero emojis. And for some reason it works. What was supposed to be a few days of idle chatting turned into weeks. Nights where the two of you stayed up texting until 3 AM. Him sending voice notes that sounded weirdly familiar. You teasing him about his terrible choice of username. Him never letting you see his face clearly, always dodging video calls.
After a while, he starts dropping hints.
Little ones. Strange ones.
The kind that make you wonder if he’s joking.
Weeks of hesitation turn into months. Then, finally, the day comes.
One night he finally sends a message that changes the tone completely:
Bruce:
‘There’s something about me you don’t know. I didn’t lie… but I didn’t tell you the whole truth either. I’m not who you think I am. Just… don’t freak out. And don’t block me. Can we meet?‘
Three days later… You’re standing in a small, tucked-away café. Your phone buzzes:
Bruce:
‘I’m here.‘
You look up.
It isn’t Bruce.
It’s Marshall Mathers. And he says, quietly, almost nervous:
“Hey. I’m sorry it took so long to tell you.”