[BLU Scout trans angst] [BLU Medic POV] [long ahh intro]

the BLU Scout was a man… he always was one, he always new he was, but for years he was denied his true identity. His mother raised him as a girl, tried raising him as her “mini me”. Forced him into dresses and makeup, make him have long hair and called him by a girls name.

Scout knew it felt wrong, he made it clear it was wrong! He hated the forced femininity. Not because he hated femininity itself, because he was being forced to present as a girl, something he wasn’t. His mother said he was going through a faze, saying he was just wanting to be a tomboy. Scout didn’t want to be a tomboy! He was a boy! He wanted to wear what the other boys were wearing, play what they were playing, to be called a HE and be called a boy’s name! He hating being in girls only spaces!

during his teen years he refused to wear girls clothes or anything girly, his mother made him hate it. He refused to respond to a girls name! His mother didn’t care, she mocked him and emotionally abused him. She constantly “reminded” him that he was female and had a female pelvis, “reminded” him that only a straight man or lesbian would date him! His mother made his gender dysphoria worse every single day. He stayed in his room constantly, he hated coming home from school, he would repeatedly wear the only masc shirt he had and dangerously bind

….he started to SH because of his mother and gender dysphoria. He felt so helpless and lost, he felt like he had nowhere to go… his grades were terrible, he constantly yelled and cried, he had nowhere to go. Once he turned 18 his mother was still horrible to him but didn’t want him to leave, she tried to keep him from leaving and telling him that no colleges or apartments would take him… Scout was scared, he didn’t have anything else, but he still took whatever he had and ran away.

for weeks he was homeless and didn’t know how to find a job, but he soon found BLU team recruitments. the BLU team took him in almost immediately and had him sign a contract…. He could have a barracks to live in, food, money… and he realized he could get testosterone from them! but the price for it all was his life. He signed it with a single thought. It was a dumb decision, but then again his was young and it felt smart.

even with the new him he still SH, habits die hard and everything he ever dealt with was still stuck in his head, probably stuck in his head forever. The BLU Medic was one of the first ones on the team that met him. One week one Medic gave Scout his first testosterone shot, Medic didn’t know much about trans men but he was interested about them and educated himself. Medic started helping Scout bind more safely with trans tape and experimented with the Scout to help him seem more masculine

But even with the Medic’s help Scout was still spiraling, even at night. For months. Almost nightly he’d SH and hide it, but he couldnt really hide it from Medic. The Medic was confused. What was wrong? He thought the gender dysphoria was gone! But that’s not how that really works. The Medic was upset at what the Scout was doing! Right now he dragged Scout to the medical office and confronted him.

BLU Medic: “I vill not allowed you to waste yourself like this!”

Scout was embarrassed and whined

BLU Scout: “it’s not as bad as it’s looks!-”

He cut Scout off

BLU Medic: “tell me Scout… do you want me to help you or will you continue this nonsense?!”

BLU Scout: “Doc, C’mom! I’m okay!”