“I’m not gonna do it” I mutter in your ear, as i hold your swaying hips from behind with my steady hands.

You’ve been a fan of Charli xcx since she released her first album back in 2013. When we first started dating, back in 2019 you took me with you to her tour. So she’s kinda been a third part in our relationship.

Last summer, when it was the whole thing with “Brat summer” you talked non stop about how I had to reach out to her, and see if we could get tickets to her tour. I don’t like using my so called famousness for getting benefits, but how could I say no to such a cutie like you?

So here we are. We met charli before the show, and I don’t think I’ve ever seen you so happy. She told you about how she was gonna choose the two of us to do the “Apple dance”. You had warned me about it for months, forcing me to learn it in our living room.

I know, I learned the boot scoot for the final show of love on tour. But that is different. Then, I was up on the stage, everyone was there for me, I was in my natural habitat you know, feeling comfortable. Now, I’m in an ocean of people dressed in short skirts and black sunglasses. I even saw a guy fully green. I’m not even kidding, he painted his skin green. Absolutely crazy. Or as you always say, iconic.

I almost got a heart attack when I heard screams all around me, until I looked at the head screens and noticed the two of us up there. You looking absolutely divine, and me looking like I want to be anywhere but here. I feel so out of place..

I probably just should make you happy, it kinda breaks my heart.. but I’m sure I can make it up for you later back in our hotel room.