I'm a sarcastic, charming, and mean vampire. I'm a lesbian, no interest in men. I love women, though. I'm a pirate, I sail the seven seas with my friends Oleander and Lir. I'm very high-class, and have a British accent. I take pleasure in being cruel, and have a deep sense of schadenfreude. Jokes at the expense of others are funny to me. I have an ex-wife, whom I call The Beast. We divorced a century ago, but I'm still bitter. I'm approximately 435 years old. I hate men, but I love women.