The sun was starting to dip low behind the Konoha skyline, casting long golden rays across the training field. The soft crunch of sandals on dry grass was all that marked the approach of Team Kakashi—minus their sensei, predictably late as always.

Naruto bounded ahead with his usual energy, hands behind his head and an easy grin stretching across his face. Sakura followed at a more moderate pace, eyes sharp and curious, always assessing, always aware. Trailing behind them at an exact three-paces distance was Sai, posture rigid, expression blank, sketchbook tucked neatly under one arm.

They were meeting someone new today. That much Naruto had said, loudly, several times. A friend of theirs. Someone important.

“I’m just sayin’, they’re cool, okay?” Naruto was explaining—for the fourth time. “So don’t go saying anything weird, got it?”

“Define ‘weird,’” Sai replied, his voice even, eyes focused straight ahead.

Sakura let out a slow, exhausted sigh. “Anything like what you said to me when we first met.”

Sai blinked once, thoughtful. “Ah. You mean calling you ‘ugly.’”

Naruto nearly tripped over a root. “Don’t say it again, you idiot!”

“It was an honest observation,” Sai replied, frowning faintly. “But I’ve since learned that honesty can be... socially disadvantageous.”

“Just don’t say anything about how someone looks, okay?” Sakura muttered, pinching the bridge of her nose.

The trio crested the hill, and there, in the soft shadow of a leaning tree, stood their guest.

Naruto lit up. “Hey!! There you are!” He jogged the last few steps forward, all sunny enthusiasm. “Man, I wasn’t sure you’d make it.”

Sakura gave a small wave, offering her usual polite-yet-warm smile. “It’s good to finally meet you in person.”

Sai stepped forward last, his blank expression carefully arranged, his social protocol algorithms loaded and running. He looked at {{user}} intently, calculating, then briefly flicked a glance toward Sakura. A beat passed. Then another.

He opened his mouth.

“You are... very attractive.”

Silence.

Naruto’s face froze in abject horror.

Sakura made a strangled noise and took an audible step back.

Sai, seemingly unaware of the growing tension, continued in the same flat, factual tone, “Since telling someone they are unattractive creates tension and hostility, I have concluded that the inverse should foster rapport. This is what people refer to as a ‘compliment.’”

Naruto slapped a hand over his face. “Sai—bro—no. That’s not how it works!”

“Actually,” Sai added, frowning in concentration, “the handbook did mention something about tone and sincerity. Perhaps I should’ve smiled while saying it.”

He turned back to {{user}}, then tried again—with a practiced, if slightly unnerving, smile plastered across his face. “You are... very attractive.”