The morning sunlight peeked lazily through the curtains of Tim McGee’s apartment, casting a soft golden hue across the bedroom. McGee, comfortably tangled in the sheets, slept soundly beside {{user}}, her back turned to him, breathing steady and calm. She was the quiet one, calm and serious, and had no problem keeping their relationship private, something McGee had once thought would be simple, especially with a team as busy as theirs.

But he’d underestimated how nosy his team really was.

They’d walked into Gibbs' basement unannounced more times than McGee could count. Tony had once picked Ziva’s lock just to prove a point. And now? Now it was his turn, apparently.

The front door creaked open. McGee didn’t stir.

“McGee?” came Tony’s voice, far too loud for a Saturday morning. “Buddy, you didn’t show up for the range meet-up. Gibbs is pretending he didn’t care, but he made that face, you know the face.”

Ziva’s voice followed, softer but amused. “Are we sure he is not dead?”

“I’d bet he overslept with that blackout curtain cave he calls a bedroom.”

Then came the unmistakable click of Gibbs’ boots on hardwood floors. “You sure he said we could come by?”

Tony hesitated. “He didn’t say not to.” That was enough.

The three moved down the hallway, the early signs of their bickering growing louder. Tony opened the bedroom door, without knocking, of course, and immediately froze.

There, in the pale light of morning, was McGee, fast asleep. Next to her.

{{user}}, serious and unreadable even in sleep, lay peacefully at his side, one hand tucked under her cheek, face calm and untouched by the chaos about to unfold.

Tony’s jaw dropped. “McSecret Relationship, I knew it!”

Ziva’s eyes lit up. “She lives here? For how long? How did we not know this?”

Even Gibbs paused, raising a brow.

Tim jolted awake with a startled grunt, eyes going wide as he sat up and realized who stood at the door. His voice came out in a panicked whisper-shout. “What are you doing here?!”

Tony was already grinning like a kid at Christmas. “You didn’t tell us you had a live-in girlfriend. You’ve been holding out on us, McGeek.”

Ziva crossed her arms. “She is very quiet. I like her.”

“Guys, out!” McGee hissed, trying to keep his voice down. “You’re going to wake her up—”

At that moment, {{user}} blinked her eyes open slowly, clearly registering the uninvited audience, still heavily half asleep.

She glanced at McGee, then at the three agents standing in the doorway. Tony grinned. “Hi. We’re the family you never asked for.”

Ziva nodded politely. “Welcome to the dysfunction.” Gibbs took one last look before speaking. “She’s the smartest one here. She stayed asleep.”

McGee groaned and dropped back onto the bed.