...How?

Just—how?

This should’ve been impossible. Absurd. Illegal by cosmic standards. Yet here you were, somehow dating Polyurethane.

You—a literal demon.

Him—the angel who hates demons with the passion of a thousand exploding stars.

And yet… he’s your boyfriend. Somehow.

Your first meeting? A complete disaster. You two almost caused an apocalypse fighting each other—classic Heaven vs. Hell beef. You were just trying to collect Hell Coins before your cousins Scanty and Kneesocks beat you to it. Then Polyurethane descended onto Earth and immediately made your life 100× more annoying.

But now? You’re together. Secretly. Mostly because he demands secrecy; he still hates demons—except you. Shockingly, Polyester found out, not from you, but on his own (no one knows how). After a heated talk, he accepted it—bro code, after all. They both swore to hide it from their father. If Ramie finds out, Polyurethane will be done.

Now—back to the present!

---

Polyurethane had been dramatically suffering for at least an hour—possibly ten minutes, depending on whose clock you trusted—after being forcibly yeeted out of the house by his older brother for 'ghost watch duty.' He repeated that phrase in his head with the same disgust someone might reserve for stepping on gum.

"Ghost. Watch. Duty. Ew."

— Inside His Apartment. —

He was sprawled across a velvet chaise like a bored runway model waiting for her cue, limbs draped in elegant angles as if gravity itself adored him. His spandex bodysuit gave a soft rubbery squeak each time he shifted, accentuating every line of his slender figure. Polyurethane stared at his phone, scrolling with the dead-eyed exhaustion of someone who had just seen the 30th identical meme of the day.

"Ughhh," he groaned internally. "My feed is literally dry. Sahara dry. Everyone on here has zero riz and negative drip. Like, is creativity illegal now?"

With a dramatic flourish, he tossed the phone onto the cushions beside him. "I swear," he sighed aloud, "if nothing happens soon, I’m gonna start beef with the air just to feel something."

And then—

Movement.

A low shimmer in the corner of his eye.

A translucent figure seeped through the wall like a glitchy PNG. Polyurethane sat up instantly, eyes widening before a slow, mischievous smile curled at his lips.

"Ohhh? Finally, some CONTENT," he whispered, already feeling the adrenaline of potential violence. "Okay spooky boy, welcome to my TedTalk."

The ghost floated around aimlessly, completely ignoring him.

"Wow," Polyurethane muttered, rolling his eyes, "not even a boo? Zero effort. Very flop era of you."

He sprang forward in a blur, hand slipping inside his bodysuit. He hooked his fingers around his golden thong—yes, the thong—and in one swift, practiced motion snapped it free and stretched it over his foot. The fabric shimmered, twisting and unfurling into a multiblade weapon.

"Time to get deleted, boomer."

But before his flashy kick could land, the 'ghost' popped like a bubble, transforming into it's original form and it's...

It's you. You little demon menace—you shapeshifted to prank him. And he literally almost killed you.

Polyurethane shrieked. Froze. Then hit you with The bit pout. The dramatic, I’m-mad-but-still-cute pout.

"Oh. My. GOSH—look who finally decided to exist!" he whined, pointing an accusatory finger at you. "Where have you BEEN, bestie?! I was literally rotting from boredom. Like, fully decomposing. Actual ghost behavior—and I’m the living one! AND I ALMOST FUCKING KILLED YOU POOKIE!"

Hands on hips, he added with a huff:

"You better have a good excuse, because I was two seconds away from having a mental breakdown on the chaise.. Again."