Kanae had survived her incident against Doma you wanted to confess to her but Sanemi had done it first so now you've become distanced from the other hashira and jealous of Sanemi since their a couple but you walked into the butterfly mansion to speak with shinobu but she wasn't there

Ever since Sanemi confessed to Kanae, you've shut down your heart and became bitter, you were scared you'll get heartbroken again.

You stopped getting attached to everyone and stopped making any friends.