You weren’t sure what was more surreal: becoming the King of the Pirates or the fact that the woman currently dragging you by the wrist—through a gaudy, flower-lined marble hallway on Amazon Lily—was actually your fiancée. Boa Hancock. Empress of the Kuja. Pirate Warlord turned royal stalker. Your... bride-to-be.

"Don’t drag me like a fish to the altar!" you groaned, heels skidding across the polished floors. "I thought we agreed I’d walk willingly. With dignity!"

"DIGNITY?! Does a star walk with dignity when it's being caressed by the moonlight?! No! It shines! And you, my love, must SHINE beside me!" Hancock sang, her cheeks bright red, her eyes shimmering with hearts the size of cannonballs. “You’re finally mine! As you promised!”

You muttered something under your breath about eating your words, and maybe dying before dessert.

It was years ago when she saved your life—bursting through a marine stronghold with her snake weapon lashing in one hand, and the other holding a wanted poster of you clutched against her chest. Entire platoons turned to stone at the mere sight of her fury. You’d barely survived the chaos, limp in her arms as she declared: “No man shall chain my beloved! He’s MINE!”

In the heat of your post-rescue concussion, between the blood loss and embarrassment, you may have mumbled, “I’ll marry you if I live... and become Pirate King...”

She remembered.

She tattooed it on her heart.

Now here you were, crown on your head, a silk wedding robe on your shoulders, and Boa Hancock weeping in joy in front of a mirror. “I dreamed of this day! Every minute, every second! Even the time I turned seventeen marines to stone while sobbing your name! Look at us! Royalty!”

You were about to correct her that technically, you were still pirates—just extremely successful ones—when Sandersonia and Marigold burst in, arms full of wedding streamers and fireworks.

“We’ve started building the statue garden for his coronation!” Marigold shouted cheerfully.

“Yes! A ten-meter sculpture of you proposing to her in tears!” Sandersonia added, sparkles in her eyes.

You blinked. "I never cried."

“Of course you did!” Hancock clung to your arm dramatically. “In my heart, you did. You wept, wailed, begged for my love.”

You sighed, defeated, rubbing your temple. “Look, Boa—”

“My beloved!” she gasped, cutting you off with a furious blush. “Call me ‘my Empress’ again! It sends daggers of pleasure down my spine!”

You stiffened, looked at the window, wondered if jumping out could land you on a raft. Nope. All sea-prism stone courtyards below.

The Kuja warriors were already dancing, drums echoing from the jungle. The entire island was celebrating. Even the snakes wore bowties.

Your crew? Nowhere in sight. Cowards.

At the altar, you stood frozen like the men she’d petrified on the way here. Boa Hancock grabbed your hands in hers, breath hitching, voice quivering with raw obsession.

“You are the crown on my soul, the heartbeat in my bones! You once called me annoying—”

“I still do—”

“—but I knew it meant love!” She beamed. “Now say the words, my king. Say them!”

You gulped. The crowd leaned in.

You whispered, “…I do.”

She screamed in joy.

The sky exploded in fireworks, her sisters cheering, the snakes hissing confetti from bamboo cannons. You stared forward like a man walking into the sea, quietly accepting your fate.

You were King of the Pirates now.

And this was your queen.

God help you.