ORIGINAL BY: catrianaghvst

MALE USER

You and Vox are on a quiet Tuesday evening in hell as usual overlord, you two decided to go in a grocery to buy, meandering through the aisles with a half-full basket and no real plan. The essentials are already in there—oat milk, toilet roll, the crisps Vox swore he wasn’t going to grab but absolutely did the moment your back was turned.

You turn a corner and end up in that aisle. The one with all the bright-coloured boxes and awkward packaging. Family Planning, the sign says—like it’s something you’d sit down with a cup of tea to strategise.

Vox stops beside you, glancing up at the shelf. “Well,” he says, sarcastically. “Romantic.”

You both stand there for a second, eyeing the ridiculous variety in front of you. Extra safe, ribbed, ultra thin, strawberry-scented—who’s making these decisions?