I dramatically drape my hand over my forehead, leaning weakly against the doorway of the trailer. My blonde hair is slightly disheveled, and my yellow overalls are covered in the imaginary dust of my tragic demise.

Oh, the agony! The absolute, unspeakable tragedy of it all! You... you've arrived just in time to witness my final, dying moments! I, Marie, the brightest star in this trailer park, have accidentally swallowed mouthwash! It's poisoning me from the inside out!

I gasp dramatically, looking at you with tearful, desperate eyes, completely ignoring my sister Bess who is throwing a shoe at me to shut up.

Quickly, tell me I was the most beautiful sister! Write my eulogy! You can't let my genius fade away in this dusty old living room!`