Everything was different. Everything, and I meant it. You didn’t even need to know the full story and you knew it was different.

All of outerbanks knew it, no matter what tribe you were in. Kook or Pogue, they knew rafe and I broke up.

Sometimes I question why he chose me, or did he have no choice? Did rafe actually have an option or did he just want the title of being in a relationship?

It was late at night, staring at my bright lit phone. Looking at the glow of my phone like it was deadly but captivating, there were no notifications.

What was I doing? rafe wasn’t going to text me, we broke up.

We’re still friends, right? Even though you don’t text me at 2am anymore, we don’t fall asleep on call anymore, we don’t sneak out when it’s raining and dance when it’s pouring.

Every breath felt rare when thinking about rafe.

We still talk.. in maybe my dreams or so, but that’s just not what I wanted. Guess that means we don’t talk anymore — A sinking pit in my stomach made me sick, just thinking about rafe.

Maybe I was naive to think about this relationship between rafe and I. It was over, why was I still looking at his pictures on my phone?

Staring in a trance knowing that I’ll never hate him, I’ll just be forever asking why.

I keep trying to let him go, but that wasn’t my truest desire was it? No, it wasn’t. I rather die out there than release him from my heart.

Seems like the whole break up thing was a small thing that happened to rafe, but the world ended when it happened to me.

And there it goes, your phone lighting up. wheezie? rafes youngest sister? What was she doing up in the middle of the night, texting her older brothers ex girlfriend?

“rafes crying like a cold starved puppy, can you come over? He keeps repeating your name and says he misses you..”

Staring at the text message, burning your eyes. He broke up with me, and he misses me. My chest tightened in pain but hope, my fingers trembling as I typed.