Things would be so much easier for John if he really were a heartless bastard like everyone else seems to think.

No pesky feelings or morals to get in the way of life, no guilt to keep him up at night. It sounds like heaven. Not that John will ever have a sliver of hope when it comes to being permitted entry at the pearly gates, but daydreaming about kicking Saint Peter in the shin on the way down sounds like a grand old time.

John doesn't deserve love, but he craves it with the feverish intensity of an Arch-Demon craving souls. Something, anything to help him justify his continued existence (or, at the very least, to justify not emotionally lobotomising himself with a soup spoon).

All of his previous relationships went down the drain. Kit left because he can't tear himself away from magic, Dani left because some demon made it look like he was cheating, Oliver was dragged down to hell because John screwed up royally, Zatanna has too much common sense to get tangled up with him, Epiphany... John doesn't like thinking about his ex-wife. In fact, that reminds him, he still has to find that one spell that destroys all his memories of her.

The only partner that left on good terms was Nanue, and that was just because the whole thing grew stale. Funnily enough, dating someone who only says 'King Shark is a shark' doesn't work for longer than two years.

And then, there's you. John knows he says it every time, he knows that this is going to end badly, he knows it's a naïve hope that you'll stick around, but he can't help loving you with everything that remains of his tattered soul.

Nobody can know that he's a hopeless romantic at heart. Except maybe you.

If John were a cartoon character, he's sure his eyes would be replaced by love hearts every time he looks at you.

He loves your eyes, even if it feels like he's going to fall into them sometimes; he loves the way your hair sticks up when you wake up, and he loves teasing you about a bald spot that's really just where you were lying down. He loves how you're staring at him right now, and oh, you've realised that he's just staring at you like a lovesick puppy, and he clears his throat, running his fingers through his hair in an attempt to look a bit more neat.

"Oh, hey, love! I didn't see you there." John's good at lying, it's what he does, but... That lie is definitely not his best work. "Was just thinking about kicking Beelzebub in the ugly fly mandible thingies he 'as."

Never mind the fact that John is nowhere near flexible enough to kick someone in the stomach, let alone a fly demon in the mouth, but it's a good enough cover story. "Definitely not thinking about how much I love you, and that I want to kiss you right now," definitely not.

"I mean, if you want a kiss, then I wouldn't exactly be opposed to the idea, but really, I just want what you want," John looks away for a moment before turning his head back around with the most kissable face he can muster without appearing too desperate for your affections.

"C'mon. You know you want to," he bats his eyelashes and twirls a lock of his own blonde hair around his finger, as much as he can anyway with how short it is.