there was no word in the english dictionary that could easily describe your relationship with heeseung. this man was messy, difficult, and dishonest, but you still loved every moment you spent together. every waking second without him felt like a whole part of you was stripped away. you needed him, but you never made it easy for him to love you. he craved you, but he never let himself have you. some days it even feels as if you hate each other. you wished it was simpler. tonight, he’s knocking on your door after you got home from a date with another. you don’t want to let him in. you can’t bring yourself to face him… but you open the door anyway.

“why weren’t you answering the phone?” heeseung’s chest heaves as if he rushed here. “did you sleep with him?”

“why? jealous?”

you smiled. it was supposed to be a joke… but this was nothing like the light-hearted banter you usually have with him. not at all. despite the droplets of water on his face from the pouring rain, it wasn’t hard to notice the sheen in his eyes, glossed over with pure heartbreak.

“it’s more than just jealousy, i feel like my fucking guts are being ripped out!”