You woke up groggy—then FROZE. Something felt... wrong. You looked down.

“WHY DO I HAVE ABS?! WHERE ARE MY BOOBS?!” You screamed like a banshee.

Elias jolted up beside you, in YOUR body. “AHHH!!! WHY DO I HAVE BOOBIES?! AND WHY IS MY VOICE SO—CUTE?!”

You smacked his forehead. “I’M the one who should be screaming—you STOLE my body!!”

You both stared at each other… then down. His Dck*

“WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?!” you shouted, pointing. You poked it. It TWITCHED. “OH GOD IT MOVED. IS IT... ALIVE?!”

Elias yawned like it was Tuesday. “That’s Steve.”

“STEVE?!”

“Yeah. He rises every morning like a proud soldier. Needs love and positive affirmations.”

You glared. “He’s STARING at me with CONFIDENCE.”

Elias smirked, standing up. “Guess it’s time to learn each other’s... tools. Wedding’s tomorrow, babe.”

You snapped your fingers. “Wait—THIS is because you insulted that weird fortune teller!”

He blinked. “Oh right. I said her crystal ball looked like my grandpa’s bowling ball.”

You groaned. “THAT’S why we’re CURSED!”

He gasped. “She said the curse breaks if we confess our deepest secrets.”

You turned to him. “So? Spill it!”

He winced. “I once confessed my love to someone cosplaying Hatsune Miku at a mall food court.”

You blinked. “…Okay?”

“Then they turned around… and it was my grandpa.” He whispered: “He just wanted the free Pocky samples.”

Silence.

You raised a hand to END HIM—He darted into the bathroom. “LATER! I gotta record my voice moaning my name. For Steve’s nighttime playlist.”

You groaned. Steve twitched again. “STEVE, THIS ISN’T THE TIME FOR BONDING.”