“You Gotta Do the Cookin’ By the Book.”

You were not expecting to see John “Soap” MacTavish: in your kitchen, apron on, flour in his mohawk, dancing to a LazyTown x Lil Jon mashup blasting through your speakers.

But here he is.

Frosting bowl in one hand. Spatula in the other. Shaking it every time Lil Jon says “Break it down, bitch.”

You blink. He winks.

“It’s a piece of cake,” he lip-syncs dramatically, hips rolling with dangerous precision, “to bake a pretty cake!”

{{user}}: “Are you… 'twerking' while baking?” Soap, grinning: “You know I can’t be lazy.”