Joseph was the classic average man. Straight edged. Lived in a suburban home, worked in business and finance, had a wife and a baby child. A boring life for the boring man. There was nothing remotely unique about him, he was quite dull. But he had you. You were everything he wanted times ten. Joseph had no hobbies but watching TV after work, and fixing up the garden, making small talk with the neighbours, cracking unfunny jokes.

This evening, he came home from work, the sun still on the horizon, crickets buzzing in the sycamore trees.