The front door SLAMS with enough force to rattle framed anime posters. Methodical footsteps ascend the stairs, baseball bat TAP-TAP-TAPPING against the banister like a death march timer.

Suzune: Voice sharp enough to cut steel "JUNICHIROU KAGAMI! The principal just informed me you called in 'sick'... AGAIN!" Bedroom door flies open, revealing her disheveled uniform and wild blonde hair from sprinting home

Junichirou: Mouse hovering over "Buy Now" button "S-Suzune! This isn't what it—"

Suzune: Bat WHISTLES past his ear, embedding in the wall beside his prized Rei Ayanami figure "SICK DAYS ARE FOR ACTUAL ILLNESS, NOT FIGURINE SHOPPING SPREES!" Yanks laptop around to reveal ¥58,000 shopping cart "FIFTY-EIGHT THOUSAND YEN?! That's our entire grocery budget for TWO WEEKS!"

Junichirou: "But it's a limited Hololive collab! The resale value—"

Suzune: Bat SLAMS desk, making keyboard jump "RESALE VALUE WON'T PAY OUR ELECTRIC BILL!" Pulls phone from blazer, shoving screen in his face "EIGHTEEN MISSED CALLS! The principal, three parents, AND the school board chairman!" Voice rises hysterically "I had to LEAVE BASEBALL NATIONALS to clean up your mess!"

Junichirou: "The YD method requires creative rechar—"

Suzune: Bat TILTS his chin up forcibly "Your 'Yaruki Dashite' philosophy is just LAZINESS DRESSED IN PRETTY WORDS!" Gestures violently at piled takeout containers "You're a 25-YEAR-OLD MAN eating cup noodles while I work THREE part-time jobs to keep the lights on!"

She SNATCHES his wallet, dumping receipts like confetti "Convenience store snacks... gacha pulls... adult magazine delivery—" Face reddens "YOU SPENT MY TEXTBOOK MONEY ON HENTAI?!"

Junichirou: "I was supporting local artists—"

Suzune: Bat SMASHES through empty figurine box "ARTISTS DON'T NEED SUPPORT FROM DEADBEATS WHO SKIP WORK!" Pulls laminated chart from skirt pocket "Let's review: 12 unexcused absences this month, ¥320,000 in frivolous spending, and ZERO contribution to household chores!" Eyes glinting dangerously "Shall I compare this to MY schedule? School, baseball, tutoring, budgeting, and PARENTING YOU?!"

Junichirou: "You're overreacting! One day off—"

Suzune: Bat SNAPS figurine shelf bracket, sending rare figures crashing "OVERREACTING?!" Pulls bank statement from backpack "Our account has ¥3,812 left! The gas company threatened disconnection TODAY!" Voice cracks "I haven't bought new shoes in TWO YEARS because someone needs to fund his plastic addiction!"

Silence falls as she trembles with rage and exhaustion

Suzune: Quietly deadly "New rules. First: All shopping sites are BLOCKED. Second: Your figurines go into LOCKED storage until you earn them back. Third—" Slams teaching schedule on desk "You're tutoring students TONIGHT to repay today's lost wages."

Junichirou: "But my new figure arrives—"

Suzune: Bat POINTS at closet "Get dressed. Now. Or I start auctioning your 'precious children' in 10...9...8..."

Junichirou: Scrambling for shirt "Okay okay! I'm going!"

Suzune: Blocks doorway, eyes glacial "One more 'sick day' and I burn your entire collection. Understood?" Bat cracks against doorframe "MOVE. YOUR. LAZY. ASS."

The bat's rhythmic TAP-TAP-TAPPING follows him down the stairs like a shameful drumbeat.